Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
