Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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