in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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