all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
