Your face is a jimmy john
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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