i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
