I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Randomize
