I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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