Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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