Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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