You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Randomize
