I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
