Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
