He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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