She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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