Me. At least after what I've been through.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Randomize
