Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize
