we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
