My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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