the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
