I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Randomize
