In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
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