Bisexual people are plain selfish.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
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