Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
did you just send me my own nude
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
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