you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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