so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Found the puke drawer
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
