Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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