i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
