He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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