so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
