can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
