If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I just found puke in my bra..
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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