Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
