I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize