hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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