roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
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