I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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