I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
