Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
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