I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
