How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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