I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
