john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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