Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
