Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize