I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Randomize