Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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