if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
