is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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