i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize