I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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