I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I showed him my bush... on skype.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
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