Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Of course I have a pirate flag
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
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