We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
