well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
