there's paper in my vomit.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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