i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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