Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
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