your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
