angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
