I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
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