I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
